Spoonstar in the making

eh awak..ur such a loser u know that..i wish i can say that to your face but i can’t find you anywhere..hiding in your loserish womb izit?My gosh…just because i rejected u last year..udah ya udah la..eksen nak mampus..dah la eksen nolong org last year..ada udang di sebalik batu duhal..dah la bulak mdh mok bunuh dirik after kenak reject kwn aku..what the f*ck ur still breathing for??huh?pegi lah bunuh dirik nun..it’s time anyway..the world is getting kind of crowdy it seems to me..huh!ko ya ..actuali aku mok tetak ngenang ko ya..tp it seems like my hatred yg overflow..so,nasiblah..ko ya,apa mok ungkit ungkit agik..bila gik ko mok putus seput ya ha?i’ll be sure to come to your funeral with a beautiful smile on my face..that’s what i’m told by you anyway.."a beautiful smile and it should never be turned upside down.."

note:i’ll see you at the prom..

have been drowning in sadness all this while..when i finally swim my way towards the surface of the bottomless pool,i saw a hand..reaching out towards me..cant see the face..just a divine light almost blinding me..i try reaching for  the hand..manage to get hold of it..hold on to it..and here i am..still holding on..

Goodbye Dear Friends,

Goodbye Forever,

Goodbye Dear Romance,

Forget Me Never…

a lot of things i believe in,and i just wana get it over wit..i still get lost in your eyes sometimes and it’s time for all that to stop..normally i’d fight for what i want..this time,i’ll just give up..can’t force myself anymore..i’m starting to lose myself..prevention is better than cure..why should i stuff my head with all the memories of your smile?or the way you smell?or the way you do every little cute things?enough is enough..from now on,i am my own lady..just like it used to be..you can’t make me change because you don’t have the right to do so..if you want me,want me for who,how,where I AM..and be sure to appreciate me for who,how,where I AM..if you’re to blind or scared and cowardish to do that,go screw yourself..i dont wan that kinda wimp to be with me..spoil me,hug me in front of my friends..give me flying kisses..for all i care about those mulut murai..i just want you to be all that..be yourself..that’s the most important of all..is that so hard to do?i am sooooo dissapointed..however,i cant say much..once a coward,forever a coward..maybe the word effort doesnt exist in your dictionary..i guess you are so used to girl coming to you..you know what?me too..but i’ve tried..i gave hints,i gave signals..n you’re still blind..well,what am i to do?i dont know and i dont care..so,i guess i’ll just remain in this ostensibility..u want to play with my insanity,go ahead..show me what you got..i wont fall for that smile anymore..

Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. The only reason someone would hate you is because they want to be just like you. There are at least 2 people in this world that would die for you. You mean the world to someone. Someone that you dont even know exists loves you. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. When you think the world has turned its back on you , take a second look at whats facing you. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget the rude remarks. awesome huh?

*wondering on the statement…..*

but that’s not what i wana crap about today…ahakz…u see,this few days,i have learned a lot from my peers..i mean a lot..during the reherseals for coszart nite,i get to meet many ppl..i mean,actually talk to them and stuffs..normally we’d be sitting in different places at the cafe minding our own shittoes..but i’ve come to learn that no matter how diferen u r u think from others,ironically,that’s what makes everyone the same…go figure.

xoxo,

princess

a)I’d never hurt you..MAYBE just a scratch or two..bruises and screams..just that..nothing more..I’ll make sure you laugh and smile at my silly jokes and goofy faces..coz that’s what i want on your face..ur smile..ur laughter..not ur frown..not a slight sadness..

b)I’d never let crappy issues come in between us..even if ur the one who’s being immature..if ur the one being unreasonable..i’ll just slap or hit you and hope that will bring you back to ur senses..

c)’girl pals’ is considered as an issue if you find them need-to-be-payed-attention-to more than me…not being self centered..just realistic..

-Just Me..Nox-

upon realizing on the fact that life goes on no matter what, i decided to just type away now..since i’m doing literally nothing except staring at my monitor..and breathing..playing with my curly hair..what else..worrying on the fact that i should be studying for my coming midterm..but i have not even moved a muscle regarding that…boohoo….okie..
first of all…let’s put to spotlight my favourite quote..>>> you cant always have what you want and what you have is not always what you’ve wanted…

Now.now..what is it that i want?there’s this thing that i want..so badd..but i cant have it..and i know i shouldnt have it..hahaha..i dont know…i dont know and i dont care…

-Fie-

Just now,i read one of my friend’s bulletin and it says "If u love something,set it free..if it comes back,it is yours..if it doesnt..it never was.."

How true can this statement go?what is it trying to prove?is it trying to say that only the decision of the significant others count?anyway,it caused me to just wonder about it for a moment..

i realised it doesnt matter,the wording sounds nice,it sounds ah-so-literaturish..haha..u know what i mean..however,it’s not neccesarily correct right?it’s not even wrong..my point is,if u love someone,try to fight for it..if you have a crush even on someone,give it a shot…what’s the worst that can happen?ur gona die of rejection?how lame and narrowminded and stupid of u to think like that…but this is not advisable to those above the age of 24!hahaha..i mean,at my age,a commited relationship seems like a mistake to me..honestly..so,why dontcha just fling around?i’m not encouraging you to bitch around like a cheap whore..what i mean is,enjoy the sweet bitter teenhood..u know,all the life sux!i hate this!i hate that!thingy…blablablabla…all the things we normally do..whining..rebelling from the inside shittos..just remember this,dont ruin your life doing things u think is cool..only stupid low society dumps do that..

but then again,no one is perfect in this world..i’m no angel and i admit it..am tryin to be..still in the process..

cant u see the irony?all those things i’ve said above..i barely listen to my own advice..haha..but anyway,some of those things i’ve said,i really mean them..in fact all i guess…now now,thanx for your time…

it’s time for bed..nite…ZzZzZz……….

xoxo,

-Nox-

let’s try something new..i’m gona do my next post in Bahasa Melayu..woohhoo!!idup BM!eheheh..

so,i mean, Jadi, inilah permulaannya.. Sedang ku duduk di depan ’screen’ ku ini, kononnya updating my blogs, i keep thinking about someone..listening to songs that keep reminding me of him..i mean,setiap mp3 yg bermain pasti akan mengingatkan aku kepadanya.. Ku berikan handphone ku satu jelingan..nak text or tak..?then i remember my phone rossssaaakkkk…damn it..argghhh…

what do i do now?i asyik cross my finger so that he at least text me ka..miscall or at least let me know he’s thinking of me..Is he?do u guys think so?help me…if the readers want him to think of me now,sila type diarinduawak and send it to 32444..

now now..berbalik kepada cerita aku tadi..i keep thinking about his smiles,his laughter,the way he does tiny things like play with his cap or something..it’s just extra adorable..i keep wondering to myself,does he think about my smiles too?the way i laugh yg tak ladies tu?what’s in his mind?am I in his mind at all?pliz..tell me..or at least give me a sign..but then again,i’m not that desperate to know..haha..saje jer..cant help wondering..

Jadi,sekarang ni mmg terbuktilah yg BM aku mmg condemn..haha..The point is,I just want to say, if the guy i miss is reading this right now,I just want 2 tell u I miss u so much..Then again,u’ll nvr know who u r…Coz I’ll NEVER Tell…oh ya,text me.hahah!

I’LL NEVER TELL…

note:cerita diatas tu hanyalah rekaan semata-mata boring..so,pliz excuse my lepehness..tiada kaitan dgn yg mati..cuma yg hidup jer..

chiao..luv ya!

-Princess-